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When Modern Meets Traditional: Court Your Girl like James Reid

by Women Team
31 Jul 2017 | 2:10 PM

Ask any guy and believe us when we say that the 'right way' to court a girl is perhaps the single most difficult decision we'll have to make. Everything rests on how we treat her during this critical period, and how you treat a lady can either pave the way for a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship, or ruin your chances before it even starts.

Filipino society has evolved beyond the traditional methods of courting. Although still fairly common in some circles, it has generally become rare for guys to actually go out of our way to meet the girl's parents and ask for permission to court their daughter, or serenade her from outside her home. Sadly, there isn't exactly a definitive method to modern day courtship - there are many ways to do it, but you never really know if it will work unless you try.

James Reid experienced the same difficulty when he decided to date his co-star Nadine Lustre. Growing up in Sydney, what he knew was the Western approach to dating. He knew, however, that this strategy would either be a hit or miss here in our country, so he decided to try the traditional way of courting. The result was eventually a combination of both, an unorthodox blend of traditional and modern that is surprisingly effective.

When Modern Meets Traditional: Finding the Road to Your Girl's Heart

Some people swear by the idea that the way to a girl's heart is often through her friends. This isn't always true, though, especially here in our country where the definitive way to a girl's heart is through her family.

James said that the first thing he did when he decided that he seriously wanted to pursue Nadine was talk to her father; he did so to ask for permission. Asking the girl's father for approval is typical in Filipino courtship, but it's widely regarded by many as too old fashioned.

This doesn't mean, though, that we should forget to do it. While it can be difficult facing our lady love's father and actually ask for his approval, there are certain benefits that can actually make the entire courtship a lot easier.

For one, her father will know that we're actually courting her. This lessens any 'surprise' factor involved when she does reveal the relationship, which can help avoid potential outbursts and even disapproval.

Asking permission from her father can also give us the upper hand since her father obviously knows more about her than we do at this stage of the relationship. Who knows, bro, daddy might just like you and prepare you to handle her wants and needs as you take it to the next level. It also feels good knowing that we have two 'fathers' supporting us in our quest to get to her heart.

Remember, a real man is never afraid of anything that stands in their way. Her father will appreciate us mustering the courage to actually tell him upfront that we're planning to date his daughter, which will hopefully earn his approval, if not the slightest bit of respect.

Treat Her Right: Ditching the Pedestal

We tend to put our girl on a very high pedestal during the courtship, and while there's nothing wrong about this at all, she may find it too uncomfortable as you are unknowingly creating distance between the two of you. She isn't from another world, and going spaghetti all over her will just make us look like we're trying too hard to win her affection. Effort is nice, but too much effort (often in the most inappropriate settings) will look awkward.

James Reid is focusing on a traditional approach to courting his love interest, but he's let slip a few elements of modern courtship in his strategy. Specifically, he continues to treat Nadine as a best friend. This is, admittedly, something that we tend to avoid once we've made it official that we're dating a girl. More often than not, the sudden change can come as a surprise to our girl and may even make courting her difficult.

Once we've established that the relationship is in the courtship level, keep it as it is and try to stay the best of friends. She knows that we have that added connection with her, so she doesn't really need us to tell her that she's the apple of our eye. It makes the entire courtship easier as we don't need to wreck our minds thinking of what to do during the date. It feels natural and will no doubt strengthen the relationship even further.

James Reid's way of courting mixed traditional courtship elements with the modern, creating a way to not just win a girl's heart, but also shows just how much you really want to be with her.

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