What Happens When You End Up Dating Your Friend's Ex-Girlfriend
Is it really crossing the line?
It's not the best scenario, but it happens-you can fall for your friend's ex-girlfriend. Blame it on all those times you spent time with her while third wheeling and realizing over time how perfect she was. Whatever the reason, a good friend would have the balls to have a talk with his best friend - ideally before taking any action. Sure, your buddy might say he's over her, but you can never be too sure. There are a lot of things to consider in this tricky situation, but we're here to help you navigate this rocky path.
1. Think hard about your feelings
Are you sure it's not just infatuation or lust? Is it worth risking your friendship for? Are you ready for the judgment by the people around you? Figure out if your decision is worth everything that can and will unfold. If it's just infatuation, lust, or both, sweep it under the rug and pretend like it never happened. If it's real, then follow what your heart dictates and proceed to the next step.
2. Break the news to your buddy
A true friend would give his pal a heads up as a sign of respect for him and your friendship. After all, he has the right to know. There's no need to seek for his permission though; just get it straight and expect that this won't come easy for him-he might even try to punch you in the face, so anticipate that, too. But if he really is your friend, he should be open to at least a conversation.
3. Confess your feelings for her
She is at the center of this and she might not be aware of it, so make sure you tell her exactly how you feel. Get over your fear by talking to her. It helps to be prepared physically and emotionally. Before you make your move, make sure you look good and polished. If she also likes you, then it may be time to court her or ask her out. Be prepared for rejection, too.
4. Give it some time
Sure, you'd want the world to know when you finally find your #forever, but you might need to hold off on parading her at the parties you attend. Your already-devastated friend will feel more miserable if he sees you happy together. Fine, you have your golden opportunity and you can't waste it-but please go slow. Let your pal recover first before flaunting.
5. Don't ever draw comparisons
No "Am I more handsome?" kinds of questions. No matter what her answer is, it's going to make things weird and you'll probably end up arguing. You and your friend are not in competition so better zip it, else you'd seem insecure.
6. Their past is none of your business
It may be tempting to ask your friend for advice on your new relationship, but don't. Likewise, don't ask your girlfriend what went wrong in their relationship so you can avoid making the same mistake. If they share details with you voluntarily, that's fine. Otherwise, it's none of your business.
7. Don't be paranoid
If you go to a party and the exes talk, let them. Don't assume your friend will ditch your friendship or she'll leave you for him. They both love you, so they won't do that. Just trust them. What you're after is that everyone is in good terms.
This article originally appeared in Summit Media.
*Modifications have been made by the Unilever Content Marketing editors.