Staying Confident Even After Failure
Nothing crushes your confidence like a massive failure.
Perhaps you got fired from the perfect job, or your business just went bankrupt. Maybe you missed the game winning shot and ended up losing the tournament. You gave your best effort, poured everything you had into something really important to you, and it still wasn't enough.
A bruised ego can keep you from ever trying again. You feel like just settling for whatever you can get, and never venture outside of your comfort zone. But there's no point in living like that, is there? Here's how to regain your confidence and be the man you know you are.
Coming to Terms with Failure
It's easy to tell someone to get over it, but failure does stick with you. It weighs on your mind, making you second guess everything you do. Before you can get your self-confidence back, you need to come to terms with your loss.
First, acknowledge the ways you screwed up, but don't beat yourself up over it. Approach it rationally; what could you have done better? What things did you do right? Write everything down, and think of how you can avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Afterwards, whenever you start mentally berating yourself again, you can stop and say, "That's enough. I've learned my lesson. Move on."
Second, think back to your past successes. When people are in a slump, they end up discrediting their achievements. For instance, the fact that you weren't able to land a huge contract you worked on for months doesn't take away from the many sales you made before. You may have bitten off more than you can chew this time, but you're still every bit as capable.
Lastly, don't act like a victim of your circumstances. Yes, many factors will always be out of your control, and a string of bad luck can ruin almost any plan. Who cares? If you start thinking of what you can't affect, instead of focusing on what you can, it will be all too easy to make excuses. Just plan for the worst and hope for the best.
The Virtue of Tenacity
You've gone past self-pity, but still feel somewhat hesitant. Are you truly prepared to make another attempt? Rather than waiting for a sign that you are ready, just go out and get started. The best way to rebuild your self-confidence is to work on your next goal without letting anything stop you. That's how winners do things.
If you still resent your failure, that's fine, too. Go ahead, be a "sore loser", then channel that bitterness and frustration into self-improvement. A champ doesn't take defeat lying down, he gets pissed off and spends countless hours studying, training, or doing whatever else it takes to win next time. Once you actually make it work, your previous failures just make the feeling of success all the sweeter.
Failure can either be the end of your ambitions, or the catalyst for growth. You're the one who gets to decide what it is.