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#RelationshipGoals and How it's Ruining Relationships

by Women Team
31 Jul 2017 | 2:10 PM

You wake up and flip your laptop open; pull up a few tabs and check your Facebook feed. Scrolling down, you see a slew of your friends share photos and articles on dating and relationships-many of them even posting their own take on hashtag: "Relationship Goals".

#RelationshipGoals is the online expression of happiness with one's partner and telling everyone about it. Or it could be sharing photos of popular celebrity couples and expressing a desire to emulate them.In sum, it is a statement reserved for social media, and usually rubs off as humblebragging.

Doesn't it make you wonder how legit a relationship really is when they seem to be better than the Azkals with all the goals they've made? Is it a facade? Social media is their proof of knowing love. A badge they flash for authority. "Pics or it didn't happen"-that kind of thing.

Grab that cup of coffee, bro. Let's discuss why #RelationshipGoals must stop.

1. The fixation on social media and its validation

#RelationshipGoals is in itself a social construct. The hashtag explains its function-it was meant to go viral. #RelationshipGoals perpetuates the need to document and post fancy dates, kilig-worthy notes, gestures, and expensive gifts flat laid for Instagram. When your inamorata gushes at the scores of hearts, likes, and comments from the girl squad, she might be enjoying the "validation" a little too much. Shouldn't she love you and the relationship for you, and not the likes?

How about that time you had Chickenjoy at Jollibee and sundaes from Family Mart? Doesn't that warrant a photo? Of course not. Her followers might think your relationship isn't as perfect.

But why should other people's opinions bother you? You two are in the relationship, not them. Stop caring about their opinion.

2. It sets unrealistic expectations

The distinct line between fantasy and reality blurs to the point of obscurity. Women are filling up their Pinterest boards with designer wedding gowns, cinematic venues, degustation menus, and diamonds more expensive than your entire life. Please girls, my measly salary can't pay for them all.

#RelationshipGoals create idealistic scenarios fit for Rom-Coms. Women shut down men at the slightest hint of compromise from us guys. They set unrealistic bars for us, and this must stop. We can't possibly be fulfilling their princess fantasies till the age of 50.

3. Settling becomes a negative

You always hear this from people giving relationship advice, often citing ~deep~ quotes to accompany their crux: "Never settle."

It's not that women should settle for less. Of course your ladylove deserves nothing but the best-that's always a given and we know that. But women should be aware that dinner can't be an eight-course meal prepared by Gordon Ramsay every night, and at the same time, expect you to maintain a six-pack. You're no Robin Padilla... You're more of a Dennis Padilla, but that's okay, bro. She should love us through thick and thin, through abs and flabs. #DadbodFTW

Always treat your woman right and keep her happy by thinking about her needs and satisfying her wants, but never forget to take care of yourself. She's never going to think that she's "settling" when she understands where you are coming from.

Men are essentially all about that old school lovin' kind of life. It isn't a photo-op all the time. Relish the moment, set aside that phone for a while-this is a relationship, appreciating togetherness and exclusivity. Be fascinated of each other's love, instead of obsessing over the "likes." A healthy relationship doesn't need social media validation. Set your own relationship goals and keep it between you and your lady. Work towards your dreams together, and if you guys make it to the end, people are just going to know.