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The Need For More Filipino Father Figures

by Culture Team
31 Jul 2017 | 2:10 PM

There isn't a person alive that doesn't love their mom, but there are more than a few people out there that have strained relationships with their dad. A lot of guys have no idea what it means to act like a man, because there was never anyone there to show them.

It's a sad truth that many young boys grow up without their fathers, leaving them without any proper male role models to emulate. Where are they supposed to learn the things they need to know to become respectable men? Television? Movies? The streets?

How Not To Be a Man

Skewed and exaggerated examples of masculinity are part of the reason why much of this generation's youth are immature. These overconfident toddlers are constantly trying to show how much they are packing-figuratively, that is.

We don't need to look very far for examples of these guys in virtually every level of society. From the tambay that catcalls women just trying to go about their day, to the rich kid that flaunts a Councilor license plate after getting pulled over for driving under the influence.

Granted, many of these boys will eventually outgrow these childish tendencies and finally learn how to respect women, as well as approach confrontations with patience instead of violence. (Or learn how to make a proper fist before starting a fight at the very least). But, the point is that these problems shouldn't even be there in the first place.

Becoming the Father Figure

Fortunately, we have the power to change all that, and become the role models that young boys need to succeed in every aspect of their lives. We've repeatedly said that most things in life are accomplished through attitude and approach. What we haven't said yet is that both of these values can be taught early on.

We can be the role models that set a good example and be the people that they can aspire to become. We don't have to be the fathers of these young boys to make a difference in their lives. We can have the same effect on our brothers, cousins, students, peers and younger friends.

If boys had a mature mind guiding them through the confusing trials of puberty, then they'll come out of it as respectable examples of our gender. The maturity that they gain from a stable influence will also benefit them in other aspects of life. There isn't an instruction manual for anyone to achieve this, unfortunately. But, there are some basics that can pay off big time if we teach them to our young men as soon as possible.

Achieving Maturity

Passion is always good, but a lot of boys confuse that with getting emotional, which is passion's messier, uglier cousin. The ability to control base emotions and look for a compromise in the face of adversity is vital to achieving career success. While the machismo-driven child still can't get over finding someone to blame, the calm grown-up is already applying the solution.

The first thing boys need to learn is to recognize their emotional triggers, and see when people are trying to get a rise out of them. Once you realize what they're trying to do, it's easier not to play into their hands and walk away.

One good way to control these raging emotions is to find a physical outlet for them, like sports. It's easier to keep a calm mind when you don't have a reserve of pent-up energy that could explode at any moment.

It's a lot harder to react immediately to an online comment or a perceived insult when you'd rather lie in bed after hours of playing ball. The downtime gives you some calm moments to actually think about everything going on, and approach the situation properly.

The Right Circles

Influence can come from more than one source, though, and the input boys receive need to be consistent in order for it to be effective. This is a bit more difficult since it involves ensuring that our kids walk with crowds that can make them better people.

This actually isn't that hard to do. All you have to do is be involved with a boy's life, but be cool about it - nothing's worse than a helicopter mentor. Just know who he hangs out with, and let him know if his friends suck and why.

Every boy needs a good role model to show them that being a man isn't about acting tough and behaving like a douchebag. They need someone to teach them the importance of discipline and maturity through example. This is the only way we, as influencers, can do right by the next generation, and give them the tools they need to improve themselves. The way of the gentleman isn't an impossible path for anyone to take.