Making the First Move on a Date - How And When?
In sports, deciding on who gets to make the first move is decided with a coin toss, tossing a ball in the air, or by the color of the piece. It's sad that nothing else is as straightforward as that, especially when it comes to relationships. But, then again, where would all the excitement go?
New relationships are arguably the hardest kind, since you're technically exploring a new person and seeing what makes her tick. Is this too fast? Am I doing enough? Is it the right time? Questions like that are always going to plague our minds, especially when we want to take things a bit further.
The Ball's In Your Court
The first thing we need to get straight right off the bat is that the first move is always on us. If you're exploring a possible relationship with a girl after a few dates, the best bet is to assume she's waiting on you, and not the other way round.
This is more than just society forcing its outdated edicts on us. Women genuinely use the first move as a gauge of whether we're really interested in them. They will drop hints here and there about when they're ready for a hug, a kiss, or anything beyond that.
If you don't respond to these hints, they'll feel rejected and stupid for putting themselves out there.
Look For These Hints!
A girl may say a million things, but her body language communicates the truth of her emotions. Look for the following hints when judging whether to make that first move:
- She plays with or twirls her hair
- Her body is always turned towards you with arms uncrossed
- She mirrors you constantly (she smiles back when you smile at her, she laughs back when you laugh)
- The conversation is good, lively, honest, and not awkward most of the time
- There is some serious eye contact
- There is some physical contact, usually the "accidental" brushing of hands/arms
If you see some or all of these hints, you know it's the perfect time to make the first move on her.It's a Game - Have Fun
It seems that the sheer volume of dating sites and advice that's on the Internet has given everyone the impression that meeting other people is a life or death situation. Sure, we all want to make a good impression, but we all have to remember that dating is supposed to be fun.
The best way to go through all these questions about making the first move, as well as any other question on dating is best answered when you take it easy. If you're genuinely interested in the girl, picking up the clues we talked about earlier should be a snap.
Don't Give Up
A female friend once shared an experience she had in Thailand when she met a really nice guy online, and they decided to meet. He had a car and gave her a tour of the city; they were talking, eating, and have fun.
The guy decided to go for it by saying "So you mentioned that you were a good kisser", and she playfully replied "That's not getting you a kiss", and the guy never brought it up again.
What surprised us was that our friend was exasperated at that, "Was that it? You're not even going to try again?" was what she kept saying. This really took us by surprise and only reinforced what we already knew about the dating game.
Making that first move is always incredibly hard. It is not only nerve-wrecking, potentially dangerous, and a high-risk activity, but knowing when to do it is also takes a lot of experience and judgment. Pick up on the clues she drops, have fun while you figure each other out, and just go for it without fear of rejection. You just might get lucky.