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How To Get Rid Of Eye Bags

by Style Team
31 Jul 2017 | 2:10 PM

You clicked on this article due to one of three reasons. First, you just wanted to know what Periorbital Puffiness means (it's eye bags, btw). Second, you wanted to learn what the deal is with those pouches beneath your eyes, and how you can banish them to a different realm. Third, you just read the title and went: "Hey, I like the letter P." If you are one of those latter folks, you are awesome. (Or shall we say: phenomenal, positive, praiseworthy, precious...)

We wanted to add photogenic in there, but you might have eye bags. You're still awesome, though.

We won't use the letter P again. Promise.

Anyway, here are the various methods you can rid yourself of those periorbital puffs, just remember that beauty is not everything:

Eat better.

We're pretty much obligated to re-remind you of the magic that a "proper diet" possesses. We get it. Everyone does. That means cutting down on those Jollibee work lunches and McDonald's dinners and midnight potato chips.. So just to get it out of the way, YES-your eye bags will fade if you improve your diet. Less carbs, less salt, you know the drill. Vitamins and minerals. Fruits and vegetables. Tomatoes and lettuce. Less grease. More water. All the water.

Drink more.

Again, not to sound redundant, but are you aware of the many wonders of hydration? You should already know how hammering this point home, even eye bag-wise of all things, could get old. But, drinking more than enough water does mitigate the fluid buildup under your eyes, no matter how repetitive this reminder might sound.

Drink less.

Again, not to sound redundant, but are you aware of the many dangers of intoxication? You probably already know that getting hammered will make you look old, eye bag-wise among other things. But, the unregulated consumption of alcohol does aggravate the fluid buildup under your eyes, no matter how repetitive this reminder might sound.

Lock yourself away.

Indoors: the magical place where eye bags are at bay, as well as the people who might see them. Spending a lot of time outside at high noon is bad for the skin in general, and you won't be doing your optical regions any favors by searing in those unsightly underlines, which is the worst thing a man can sustain from a solar staring contest. That and eye damage

Change your sleep habits.

There is no shame in conceding the contest to the sun. Get some sleep. Drowsiness hampers your ability to think and be *handsome*, so aim for at least 7 hours of shuteye every night. Elevating your head also helps, and changing your weird sleeping positions. We don't feel like enumerating those specific positions right now, so just demonstrate and ask your friends, co-workers, or the authorities.

Stop crying.

Even if the cops arrest you for indecency, there is still no reason for a man reading about eye bag treatments to let it get him down. If you cry on a regular basis, expect your eyes to swell up even after you're done. Real men don't cry anyway, so just don't. (We're kidding, every man needs a good outlet once in a while, eh?)

Buy your way to it.

Of course, there is still: "the other way". If you pictured a cosmetic surgeon slowly rubbing their palms like a Hanna-Barbera cartoon villain, then you nailed it. The idea of us paying to have ourselves enhanced is no longer taboo. If you really, really want to get rid of your eye bags now, want to keep eating unhealthy, powering through hydrophobia, binge drinking, staring at the sun, staying up all night, crying your heart out, all while striking a pose for a fancy magazine that caters to bloated, thirsty, drunk, blinded, insomniac crybabies, you have doctors to help you do just that. Beauty is not everything, but we do think about it a lot. Perhaps a bit too much in this case.

The world is a magnificent place. If you feel like your eye bags are holding you back from whatever, then by all means go ahead and try any one of the groundbreaking methods we have delineated above.

Eye bags are not forever, much like all aspects of beauty. With this, you will be better off focusing on the aspects that matter. Promise.